Mother's Day Equestrian Gift Guide

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Mother’s Day for Equestrians

Being a mom and an equestrian has its challenges. Time, energy, money . . .  you name it and there never seems to be enough to go around, especially when you’re a mom. I’ve written about some of them in these posts:  Coping with Mom Fear and Riding ~ 3 Tips For Moms With Horses ~ Who Are Your Equestrian Cheerleaders?

If you are going to buy the mom in your life a horseshoe necklace or picture frame . . .  don’t! Here are some gift ideas that won’t disappoint that hard-to-buy-for horsey mom.

Mother’s Day Gift Guide

Let’s start out with the card: https://amzn.to/3xwOkKb  or https://amzn.to/3t3n6ar

GLOVES: Riding horses can be rough on hands. These gloves are the best gloves for riding. They are durable, soft, and feel like second skin. They are the perfect gloves for someone that doesn’t like the feel of bulky gloves. Many of the top equestrians and professionals use these riding gloves. https://amzn.to/3tShVvj  or https://amzn.to/3e7doQp

VIDEO RECORDING SYSTEM: Immediate or timely feedback is the best way to improve. That is a teaching strategy, but it also works for riding. For those riders that do not take lessons every day, this is a great system to use. It records a rider while using the video and camera on your phone. Have you ever thought, “My heels are down. Why does my instructor keep yelling at me?!?”? Well, this system can also be used to video your lessons and help you realize what you may or may not be doing.  I do not have one of these, but I know many people that do. https://amzn.to/3nr4HDf  

SOCKS: Horseback riders are on their feet a lot. Okay, we are also on our butts a lot too (hopefully in the saddle and not on the ground). Although, the sleek boot socks help our legs glide in and out of boots easily, they don’t add much comfort to the foot areas. These padded boot socks have a soft foot part and also have the sleek calf area.  https://amzn.to/3u3UGhY

SPORTS BOTTLE: Summer is coming and that means warm days and hot rides. Yeti products have continued to impress me with how well they keep drinks cool. This new Yeti sports bottle will provide a cool drink of water https://amzn.to/3xxfn84  

Thrifty Mother’s Day Gifts

Not all Mother’s day gifts need to cost a lot. Remember when you were little and made coupons to give your mom a hug? Well, it also works as an adult.  Not all gifts need to be expensive. Sometimes, thoughtful gifts are worth more than those that are purchased. If your budget is tight or you have no budget at all, here are some ideas for you.

If you do not have the funds to purchase a Mother’s day gift, don’t sweat it. Okay, these gifts might require a little sweat.

• Clean Tack

• Clean Stalls

• Give The Mom a Break – Extra Barn Time

• Offer To Video A Lesson Or A Ride

Limited Budget

• Treat Bucket - You can purchase this usable and affordable feed bucket (https://amzn.to/2PB6Pfm)  or use an old basket. Fill it with carrots, sugar cubes, and peppermints.

• Whine About It - Okay, don’t actually whine about the limited budget. Grab a bottle of horsey named wine and add this wine stopper (https://amzn.to/3e1Xxm1 ) to it. Listen to your horsey mom while she drinks her wine and whines about her ungrateful horse.

Valentine’s Day for Equestrians and Horse Lovers

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Tis the season to be … in love (whether that’s with your horse, another person, or both). Valentine’s Day is coming soon. For those that have significant others, it can be tricky to buy for us horse girls or women. If you are one of those horsey women that does not have a significant other, then as Donna and Tom from Parks and Rec would say, “treat yo self!” There have been many Valentine’s Days that I spent at the barn alone with my horse, and I was totally okay with that.  

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 Romantic Gifts for Horse Lovers

These gifts are great for a romantic night with your horse person. What smells better to a horse person than flowers? Leather! These gifts do not require sizes making it easy to buy for your love. Mix and match these affordable gifts and enjoy a wonderful thoughtful evening.

https://amzn.to/3iIg8nT - Wine Glasses

https://amzn.to/3c9eqL5 - Wine Stopper

https://amzn.to/3cmzi1B - Leather Scented Candle

https://amzn.to/39hhjrc - Picture Frame

https://amzn.to/3cbJjhO - Sees Chocolates

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Practical Gifts for Horse Women

If romance is not a big thing for you or your equestrian, these gifts may be better suited. They are practical for everyday use and you can also get most of them in pink, red, or some type of Valentine’s theme. This is another set of gifts that doesn’t require you to know sizes. Yes, even the belt is adjustable to fit most sizes! They are pretty affordable as well. 

https://amzn.to/2M1QoH8 - Hot Pink Boot Socks

https://amzn.to/2YcUjn6 -  C4 Valentine’s Day Belt

https://amzn.to/2YbYQWL - Pink Yeti Travel Mug

https://amzn.to/3pfFMCM - Leather Balm

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 Gifts for Trendy Equestrians

I can’t say that these gifts land in the affordable category, but they sure are pretty! Hunter’s boots work great at the stable, but they are also fashionable enough to wear out to dinner (as long as they don’t have poop on them). These gifts also require you to know sizes, but they would be easy enough to figure out by yourself if you get creative.  

https://amzn.to/3sZMUp6 - Hunter’s Boots

https://amzn.to/3iNdDAE - One K Helmet with Bling

https://amzn.to/3ceivO6 - Roeckl Gloves

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 Horse Lovers That Pamper Their Horses

 If you or your equestrian spends longer grooming their horse then they do riding, these are perfect gifts for them. You really can’t beat their names either: Stud Muffins and the StripHair.

https://amzn.to/2YeE4FP - Stud Muffin Horse Treats

https://amzn.to/2M604An - StripHair Groomer

https://amzn.to/3c3Tg0O - Vetrolin Shine

https://amzn.to/2MnF9IZ - Skin and Coat Moisturizer

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Valentines for the Little Horse Lovers 

If you are looking for a little something to give your little horse lover, these are perfect gifts. They are best suited for those in elementary or early middle school ages.  

https://amzn.to/3ph8naJ - Valentine’s for School

https://amzn.to/2Yd6h00 - Box of Horse Stamps

https://amzn.to/3pbLjdD - Horsey Hair Ties

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Who Are Your Equestrian Cheerleaders?

Have you ever been to a show and watched the team of people that surround some of the top riders? Some of them are probably star struck groupies, but some of them are cheerleaders. What do I mean by cheerleaders? Well, they are there when the rider is down and out. They are there when the rider’s horse is acting like a jerk in the warmup ring. They shine the boots, they dry the tears, and they are just there.

While you may not be a top rider (or maybe you are), you still need cheerleaders. Horses can be difficult beasts. They get injured. They injure us. They can be gigantic turds. If there is ever a time when the iceberg effect/theory is true, it is with horses. Others often notice the people that are winning or competing at high levels. “Someone must have bought them that horse. They are riding a made horse. Must be nice to have so much time to spend with their horse. They are just a natural.” We’ve all heard these comments, but most of those making the comments never noticed the struggles that rider went through to get where they are (but their cheerleaders did).

In the book, “Chop Wood Carry Water: How to Fall in Love with the Process of Becoming Great,” Joshua Metcalf wrote:

You fuel your heart with six things: what you watch, what you read, what you listen to, who you surround yourself with, how you talk to yourself, and what you visualize.

He explained that we should treat our bodies as if they are expensive cars. How would you take care of that expensive car? You need to take care of yourself the same way. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Who are your cheerleaders? Think about the people that truly support you. They are there for the bad times and the good times.

Horse Show Mom

Don’t underestimate the Horse Show Moms (or Dads). They dry many tears. I’ve seen many Horse Show Moms standing at their child’s ringside far into adulthood. Some Horse Show Moms even financially support their adult children’s riding habit. The Horse Show Moms love their riders whether they are winning or losing, whether their horse is a big jerk or a saintly unicorn, and whether their rider is a big jerk or a saintly child. They tell their riders that they are good, not matter what the judge or trainer say. Whether that’s true or not, sometimes you just need to hear it.  If you are one of the lucky riders that has a parent by the ringside cheering you on, be thankful. You have at least one cheerleader.

Horsey Friends

Friends outside of horses are great. They help give riders new experiences besides horses. They can keep you mind off from horses when sometimes you just really don’t want to dwell on things like injuries, bad riders … However, horsey friends are the best. They get the struggles. They are someone you can confide in and they actual understand why a torn suspensory can be so devastating. You can talk to your horsey friends for hours about horses …. And they will still be your friend. Your horsey friends can make going to the barn in the middle of winter fun.

Frenemies anyone? There are people that disguise themselves as friends. These people are nice to your face, but they leave you feeling confused, flustered and crappy. These people are not your cheerleaders. These people are bullies.

Trainer

Well, this one should be obvious. Your trainer should be one of your biggest cheerleaders. If they are truly invested in you, they should want to see you succeed (even if that means beating them in a class)! You literally are paying for a cheerleader. Your trainer should be cheering you on, helping you set goals, and also help you become a better rider. I once had a trainer try to sabotage my riding. She told others that she didn’t want me to beat her in competition. She was definitely not my cheerleader. After I found out, I was on the search for a new trainer.

Significant Other

As an adult, it is tough if your significant other does not understand your love for riding and horses. It can create big riffs in relationships. Some significant others may join in and pick up the love of riding too, and some may be standing by the ringside, and some may stay home with the children. All that matters is that they support you. They support your passion for riding. They encourage you to keep going when things get tough.

There are many people in the horse world that enjoy watching people fail. They enjoy blaming others. I never realized this and felt it more than when I was on my own. It took a toll on my confidence. When I moved away from everything I knew in my mid 20’s, it was a shock to my system. I had always had my mom and my horsey friends as cheerleaders. They helped push me along when things got tough. They kept me motivated. They told me things would be okay.

If you are feeling defeated in your riding, then rely on your support system. Give that support system a call. Cry to them and let them be there for you. Your cheerleaders will lift you up and ask, “When’s the next show?”

Being An Equestrian Has Made Me A Better Mom.

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The lessons I have learned as an equestrian have helped me become a better mom. Children and horses are not all that different. When I was a kid, I spent most of my summers and weekends working/volunteering at a stable that had 60 horses. Yes, that’s right, 60 horses! Early on, I learned that horses need patience and consistency to be able to learn and grow, just as children do.

When I went through the elementary education program to be a teacher, the professors preached about having consistency in the way you ran your classroom. Patience was important, because let’s face it, if you are working with other people’s children, you definitely cannot lose your temper. As a parent, I’ve listened to many parenting books. The authors (usually psychologists) talk about patience, consistency, and follow through. If you tell a child there will be a consequence, then there better be a (reasonable) consequence. If there are not consequences, then the child will never listen. They are just empty threats or promises. As equestrians, we know it is the same with horses. When you squeeze or push with your leg to get the horse to step away from it, the horse should do just that. What happens when the horse doesn’t listen? Do you just keep squeezing and hoping that there is some kind of change or reaction? Of course not! Now, I am definitely not saying you should kick your child if they don’t listen. That is not the answer. However, I’m sure we have all been in the grocery store or on an airplane and heard a parent screaming out empty threats. And of course, the child just looks at them and continues doing what they were doing.

Patience

When you lose your patience, you lose control over the situation. There is a difference between respect and fear. Respect is earned, fear is forced. When you scream, yell, or are abusive (to children or horses), you are ruling with fear. When you are patient yet firm, you are ruling with respect. You can never trust something (or someone) to make the right decision when they are being ruled by fear. Patience does not come to everyone naturally. Some of us are given more than others. Working with horses has helped me become more tolerant and more patient. No matter how cute your child is, they will still test your patience. My child had colic for the first 8 months of life. If you don’t know what a colicky child is like, it’s basically torture, especially for first time parents. Colicky children cry relentlessly, and there is nothing you can do about it. I read somewhere that they use recordings of colicky babies crying to torture people. It just about broke me. I think that my time spent around horses helped strengthen those “patience muscles.”

Consequences

Having patience does not mean that there are not firm consequences. Consequences are important. Without consequences, your demands may mean nothing. For example, if your child refuses to pick up a toy and you just keep asking, “please pick up your toy, please pick up your toy…” Your child is never going to do it.  Reasonable consequences are important. “Please pick up your toy,” is fine to ask once or twice. A reasonable consequence is “Please pick up your toy. If I have to pick it up, it is going on a shelf and you’ll have to earn it back.” An unreasonable consequence looks like this, “Please pick up your toy. If I have to pick it up, you are getting grounded for 1 month!” I mean, we have all heard of kids getting grounded for crazy amounts of time. What are you going to do if that kid does something else minor within that month? Ground them for the next month, and the next month and the next month? Just like I used to tell my riding students, the punishment has to meet the crime. If your horse does something minor, are you going to take a whip to them? I sure hope not! It is no different with horses. You should have reasonable consequences.

Follow Through

Just like having patience and consequences is important with horses and kids, you must also follow through with the consequence. If you had to pick that toy up and put it on the shelf, then you better not give it back to the child until they earned it (whatever that means to you). Although follow through is important to both children and horses, there are some differences. With horses, our follow through needs to be almost immediate for them to be able to connect the consequence to their actions. With children, you can tell them there will be a consequence later, BUT you still must follow through with a consequence. This took a little bit of time for me to realize, and I still am working on it. Jim Fay, the author of “Parenting with Love and Logic,” wrote a lot about this. He has a great book and I would highly recommend it: Affiliate Link https://amzn.to/38LLV4a

Consistency

 “Trust is built with consistency.” ~ Lincoln Chafee.

Routines, rules and expectations need to stay consistent. Imagine a boarding facility that changed routines every week. Horses went out with different horses. Feed times were different. Stall assignments were different. Can you imagine the chaos? We couldn’t imagine doing this to our horses, but we don’t always think of it being that big of a deal if we do it to our kids. Children need consistency too. Consistent routines help children feel safe. Consistent rules and expectations help children behave. I love my mom, but when we were children she would randomly come up with a new rule. She’d stick to it for a few days and then it would disappear. We never knew when this was going to happen either. We also never really listened to the rules because… well, they’d be gone in a week so who cares? If you need to make a change in rules or routines, then do it. But, do not constantly change them.

Conclusion

My time spent with horses made me a better mother and teacher. We are all creatures of habit and there are many things we share in common. Cheers to well behaved horses and children!

Pampered Ponies

5 Things Your Horse Doesn’t Need – But You’ll Want!

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“A horse is like a grown woman’s Barbie.” ~ Anonymous. I cannot remember where I heard that from, but isn’t it fitting? So, maybe you never played with Barbies as a kid, but we all know Barbies have to have all the accessories. It is the same with horses. They get dressed up in ridiculous outfits. We make sure that our outfits match the saddle pads and maybe even leg wraps or boots (well, some people do). Here is a list of 5 things that your horse probably doesn’t need, but you will want!

Peppermint Bit Wipes

Raise your hand if you are guilty of having a dirty bit (me too). Raise your hand if you feel even slightly bad about putting a piece of metal in your horse’s mouth (me too). These wipes don’t solve those problems, but they definitely help! They’ll motivate you to keep those bits a little cleaner and maybe motivate your horse to want to take the bit more! Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/36uI0WY

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Marigold Coat Spray

This spray is supposed to condition and protect your horses coat from sun bleaching. I have purchased this spray many times, but it really isn’t for either of those reasons. This is the best smelling horse spray I have ever used. It is refreshing and has a slight perfume smell that is not too overbearing. If you want the best smelling pony in the barn, this is your spray! Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/3kmQXq8

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Mrs. Pasture’s Horse Cookies

Okay, this is something your horse will actually want. Who doesn’t enjoy pampering your horse with some special treats? I have yet to meet a horse that doesn’t like Mrs. Pasture’s Horse Cookies. Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/2IxcZcs

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Massage Grooming Mitt

This two-in-one massage mitt is great for shedding season and before you ride. There are “magnetic therapy balls” in the mitt. I don’t know about magnetic therapy, but it does provide a good massage for your horse before you ride. These work especially great for horses that have a lot of tension in their necks, back and topline. Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/3lvdpyu

Rubber Face Curry

Sometimes our regular curries are just too rough for our horse’s face, especially if you have a sensitive horse. These little curries have tiny bristles to help gently pull off gunk from around the ears, eyes, and boney parts of the face. Your horse will thank you! Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/2JUYBvd

A Guide To Friendships In The Horse Business

One of the difficult parts about being in the horse business is maintaining long-term friendships. Horse professionals and their clients develop strong friendships that usually come to a dramatic end with both parties feeling mistreated and hurt. We (horse people) are special people. It is hard to make friends with just anyone. Who else is going to listen to mundane stories about our horse? Who else is going to understand the joy of getting a new saddle?

Building resentment in your horsey friendships between you and your clients, trainer or barn owner can happen easily. One way to maintain those healthy friendships is by having clear boundaries. I’ve seen this destroy many horsey friendships. Often, at least one person feels like their friend has taken advantage of them. Sometimes it is the professional (trainer, instructor, barn owner/manager), sometimes it is the amateur, and sometimes it is both.

Don’t Assume

Business is business. Doing favors can mean different things to different people. I’ve experienced this a lot while living in different areas of the country. There are often unwritten (or unsaid) rules and expectations. “If I do this, then you owe me…., If we are friends than I should get this for free, or I did this, so you should do this.” We aren’t mind readers (or at least I’m not). Unwritten expectations and rules create resentment.

Clear Boundaries

The best way to ward off resentment or a failed friendship is by having clear boundaries. If you are the client, expect to pay for everything. If you are friends with the barn owner, treat them like you are doing business with anyone else. Pay your friend. If you ask someone to do something for you, then expect to pay them. Give them the option to say, “You don’t owe me anything or need to pay me,” but be prepared to pay if they don’t. If you want to help your friend, then do it and expect nothing in return. You can state, “I am doing this just to help you. I do not expect compensation.” If your friend asks you to help them, do it just to help them. If your friend asks you to help them and you do not want to do it for free, don’t do it. Or ask them what type of reimbursement you will be getting up front. If you don’t want to be taken advantage of by your friends, then you should also not take advantage of your friends.

 A friend’s mom told me, “don’t do anything once in case you plan on doing it the rest of your life (or friendship).” If you do something for free once, it may be expected of you from there on out. Remember that the next time your trainer or barn owner asks for help AND remember that next time you ask for help.

Conclusion

It often occurs where one person will feel like they have been taken advantage of. Sometimes both people feel as though the other person has taken advantage of them. If someone isn’t willing to have clear boundaries about what is to be paid for, or what is required of them, then maybe they are a user and not a friend. A friend would not want to put you in a poor financial situation. A friend would not want you to resent them. As I stated before, business is business.  Even though your barn owner or trainer may be a friend, they still have bills to pay. They cannot pay their hay bill or rent on your friendship. If you consider them a friend, and you care about them, you should also care that they are able to pay their bills.

Time Management & Priorities: Adults With Horses

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The other night my husband crawled into bed, we stared at each other, and questioned how it could possibly be 9:30 already. Exhausted, we turned the lights off and went to bed. Well, he did. I stared into the dark room and thought about everything that needed to be done (because we all know that worrying about things solves a bunch of problems).

Whether you have a full-time job, young kids, or other adulting life to take care of, there always seems to be an ever-growing list of things that need to be done. Adulting with horses is challenging because there never seems to be enough hours in the day. It’s all about time management. Have you ever closely scrutinized how you spend your time and whether it’s consistent with your priorities?

In a world with limitless time, my tack would be cleaned after every ride. My bridles would be figure eighted. My horse’s mane and tail would be cut and pulled. There would be a perfectly trimmed bridle path. My horse would not have a speck of dirt on his legs. There wouldn’t be any shavings or hay in his tail when I rode. My hair would be pulled back into a perfect ponytail or bun. But instead, time is not limitless… so I let some things go and I try to be okay with it.

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.” ~ Harvey MacKay

Deciding What’s Important

Finding the right balance is the key to owning horses as an adult. What do you have to do? What can be put off for a while? For me, riding is a top priority. What do I have to do to make sure that I can ride? The horses have to be fed and have all of their essentials. I’ve boarded at a few barns where the owners often complained about not having enough time to ride. I’d watch them tend to their amazing flower beds, power wash the barn twice a month, and pick manure out of the pastures with pitchforks once a week. While all of that stuff was wonderful and made the barn a better place to be, was it really necessary? If riding is a top priority and goal, you have to let some of that stuff go! Who is going to make more gains in their riding: the rider that has the horse with the perfect tail? OR the rider that rides three or more times a week? What’s your goal? What can you let go of to allow yourself to have more time to work towards that goal? Now, if having the perfectly groomed horse is your thing, then by all means, you go for it! Do what makes you happy.

Nowadays, my boots aren’t cleaned after every ride. My horse’s crazy mane isn’t brushed all the time. His thick mane grows out to the point that he looks like a wild pony mixed with an Andalusian. But guess what? He doesn’t seem to care.

What I Don’t Mean

While I am probably encouraging you to cut corners in some places, I am not telling you to cut corners on anything that hurts your horse’s health, well-being, or safety as well as your own. If something needs to be done to prevent injury, then that is something you can’t ignore. Throwing a saddle pad over a horse that is caked in mud is not something I’m promoting. Horses can get sores from the saddle pad rubbing on top of the dirt. Skipping out on lunging your horse to save time is not good either. If your horse needs to be lunged for your safety, then do it!

Conclusion

When time is limited, you have to decide what you can cut out of your life to remain focused on your top priorities. This is your ticket to feeling guilt-free about not having to pull manes, clean tack after every ride, or whatever else may not feel important to do. Skip the things that are not essential and give yourself more time to accomplish what is important to you. If you need help figuring out what your goals are check out Goal Setting and Expectations. If you want to read more on improving your focus and how to take advantage of “opportunity cost,” check out this great read by Thibaut Meurisse called “Master Your Focus” on Amazon: https://amzn.to/34ir5r6.