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September 21st is World Gratitude Day. 2020 has sent us through a whirl wind (and doesn’t seem to be slowing down), and it can seem hard to feel gratitude right now. Many of us have had canceled shows, trips, riding, training, and lessons due to COVID. At the beginning of the virus, some of us had to deal with boarding barns closing down to boarders. That meant no riding, no training, and no horses. I know many people that struggled not being able to see their horse for a prolonged period of time. Maybe the events of 2020 have not impacted you that much, but other factors in life have. Life as an adult can be tough to say the least. However, if we take a little bit of time and mental effort, I’m sure there are some things we all can show gratitude towards.

What is Gratitude?

Being grateful, thankful, or showing appreciation is gratitude. The most important word is appreciation. Appreciation means that you recognize or enjoy something good. Take a moment and think of one thing that is good with your riding, horse, or horsey friends. Gratitude is not just thinking or being thankful for something. Gratitude is also showing appreciation.

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." William Arthur Ward

Is there someone that has gone the extra mile for you or your horse? Does your horse get excellent care at your boarding facility? Does your husband wake up at 6:30 on his day off and come down to the barn to clean stalls? Tell that person how grateful you are. Show them that you are thankful for them. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be as easy as saying, “thank you for …” Not into using words? How about buying someone a cup of coffee, doughnut, cookie or something else small? A small gift can really make a person feel appreciated.

Sometimes we don’t always feel like the care of our horses is the greatest at our boarding facility. People can get under our skin and fall short of our expectations. Try to think of one small thing that someone has done correctly. Find a small way to show that person you appreciate them.

"The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement." Charles Schwab

When I was an elementary teacher, we called this positive reinforcement. In some cases, you could take a student that acted out and get them to change their behaviors. Teachers would focus on one small thing that the student did right and show gratitude for it. The goal was to build upon the positive and sometimes it worked. Now, think of something positive that you can show gratitude towards with those people that fall short or tend to be difficult. Caring for horses can be an exhausting feat. If the caretakers are consistently getting beat down, they will give up. Show a little bit of appreciation for something they did correctly (no matter how small). For example, bring them a cup of coffee on a cold day with a note: “Thank you for feeding my horse every day.” Although that is service you pay for anyway, it is still a nice gesture and will make you feel good too. If you are looking to purchase a small gift of gratitude for someone, here are some horsey gifts that won’t break the bank.

Small Gifts of Gratitude:

Book - “The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse",” is a quick read. It has wonderful life lessons. I’ve bought this book several times for friends, and I just recently purchased it for my coffee table. https://amzn.to/3iA1COh

Scarf -https://amzn.to/3iq9oKu

Mug 1 - https://amzn.to/3iq9oKu

Mug 2 - https://amzn.to/2DRVmlN

Socks - https://amzn.to/35rwGvN

Chocolate Gift Box - https://amzn.to/3mclpoR

Still Having Trouble Feeling or Showing Gratitude?

Maybe your riding isn’t going well, or your horse is lame right now, or who knows what! But, these 1000+ lbs. beasts allow us to ride them. How crazy is that? Life can be messy and complicated, but if you are reading this, you probably ride or own a horse. Here is the reality: You are lucky. The fact that we are able to afford to be around horses is amazing. Most of us have our basic needs met. We have food, shelter, and clean water. We are able to focus on things like: Is my horse going to be cold without his blanket tonight? I wonder what kind of supplement would be best for my horse? There are many people in the world that don’t even live as well as our horses.

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault

Try to think about your “little things.” Is it the cool autumn breeze blowing on your face as you sit atop your horse? Is it watching the sunset while you graze your horse after giving him a bath? If you take the time, you may be surprised to find how many things you can be grateful for and don’t forget to show that gratitude.

I’d love to hear what you are grateful for or how you are going to show your gratitude.

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The other night my husband crawled into bed, we stared at each other, and questioned how it could possibly be 9:30 already. Exhausted, we turned the lights off and went to bed. Well, he did. I stared into the dark room and thought about everything that needed to be done (because we all know that worrying about things solves a bunch of problems).

Whether you have a full-time job, young kids, or other adulting life to take care of, there always seems to be an ever-growing list of things that need to be done. Adulting with horses is challenging because there never seems to be enough hours in the day. It’s all about time management. Have you ever closely scrutinized how you spend your time and whether it’s consistent with your priorities?

In a world with limitless time, my tack would be cleaned after every ride. My bridles would be figure eighted. My horse’s mane and tail would be cut and pulled. There would be a perfectly trimmed bridle path. My horse would not have a speck of dirt on his legs. There wouldn’t be any shavings or hay in his tail when I rode. My hair would be pulled back into a perfect ponytail or bun. But instead, time is not limitless… so I let some things go and I try to be okay with it.

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.” ~ Harvey MacKay

Deciding What’s Important

Finding the right balance is the key to owning horses as an adult. What do you have to do? What can be put off for a while? For me, riding is a top priority. What do I have to do to make sure that I can ride? The horses have to be fed and have all of their essentials. I’ve boarded at a few barns where the owners often complained about not having enough time to ride. I’d watch them tend to their amazing flower beds, power wash the barn twice a month, and pick manure out of the pastures with pitchforks once a week. While all of that stuff was wonderful and made the barn a better place to be, was it really necessary? If riding is a top priority and goal, you have to let some of that stuff go! Who is going to make more gains in their riding: the rider that has the horse with the perfect tail? OR the rider that rides three or more times a week? What’s your goal? What can you let go of to allow yourself to have more time to work towards that goal? Now, if having the perfectly groomed horse is your thing, then by all means, you go for it! Do what makes you happy.

Nowadays, my boots aren’t cleaned after every ride. My horse’s crazy mane isn’t brushed all the time. His thick mane grows out to the point that he looks like a wild pony mixed with an Andalusian. But guess what? He doesn’t seem to care.

What I Don’t Mean

While I am probably encouraging you to cut corners in some places, I am not telling you to cut corners on anything that hurts your horse’s health, well-being, or safety as well as your own. If something needs to be done to prevent injury, then that is something you can’t ignore. Throwing a saddle pad over a horse that is caked in mud is not something I’m promoting. Horses can get sores from the saddle pad rubbing on top of the dirt. Skipping out on lunging your horse to save time is not good either. If your horse needs to be lunged for your safety, then do it!

Conclusion

When time is limited, you have to decide what you can cut out of your life to remain focused on your top priorities. This is your ticket to feeling guilt-free about not having to pull manes, clean tack after every ride, or whatever else may not feel important to do. Skip the things that are not essential and give yourself more time to accomplish what is important to you. If you need help figuring out what your goals are check out Goal Setting and Expectations. If you want to read more on improving your focus and how to take advantage of “opportunity cost,” check out this great read by Thibaut Meurisse called “Master Your Focus” on Amazon: https://amzn.to/34ir5r6.