Have you ever been to a show and watched the team of people that surround some of the top riders? Some of them are probably star struck groupies, but some of them are cheerleaders. What do I mean by cheerleaders? Well, they are there when the rider is down and out. They are there when the rider’s horse is acting like a jerk in the warmup ring. They shine the boots, they dry the tears, and they are just there.
While you may not be a top rider (or maybe you are), you still need cheerleaders. Horses can be difficult beasts. They get injured. They injure us. They can be gigantic turds. If there is ever a time when the iceberg effect/theory is true, it is with horses. Others often notice the people that are winning or competing at high levels. “Someone must have bought them that horse. They are riding a made horse. Must be nice to have so much time to spend with their horse. They are just a natural.” We’ve all heard these comments, but most of those making the comments never noticed the struggles that rider went through to get where they are (but their cheerleaders did).
In the book, “Chop Wood Carry Water: How to Fall in Love with the Process of Becoming Great,” Joshua Metcalf wrote:
You fuel your heart with six things: what you watch, what you read, what you listen to, who you surround yourself with, how you talk to yourself, and what you visualize.
He explained that we should treat our bodies as if they are expensive cars. How would you take care of that expensive car? You need to take care of yourself the same way. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Who are your cheerleaders? Think about the people that truly support you. They are there for the bad times and the good times.
Horse Show Mom
Don’t underestimate the Horse Show Moms (or Dads). They dry many tears. I’ve seen many Horse Show Moms standing at their child’s ringside far into adulthood. Some Horse Show Moms even financially support their adult children’s riding habit. The Horse Show Moms love their riders whether they are winning or losing, whether their horse is a big jerk or a saintly unicorn, and whether their rider is a big jerk or a saintly child. They tell their riders that they are good, not matter what the judge or trainer say. Whether that’s true or not, sometimes you just need to hear it. If you are one of the lucky riders that has a parent by the ringside cheering you on, be thankful. You have at least one cheerleader.
Horsey Friends
Friends outside of horses are great. They help give riders new experiences besides horses. They can keep you mind off from horses when sometimes you just really don’t want to dwell on things like injuries, bad riders … However, horsey friends are the best. They get the struggles. They are someone you can confide in and they actual understand why a torn suspensory can be so devastating. You can talk to your horsey friends for hours about horses …. And they will still be your friend. Your horsey friends can make going to the barn in the middle of winter fun.
Frenemies anyone? There are people that disguise themselves as friends. These people are nice to your face, but they leave you feeling confused, flustered and crappy. These people are not your cheerleaders. These people are bullies.
Trainer
Well, this one should be obvious. Your trainer should be one of your biggest cheerleaders. If they are truly invested in you, they should want to see you succeed (even if that means beating them in a class)! You literally are paying for a cheerleader. Your trainer should be cheering you on, helping you set goals, and also help you become a better rider. I once had a trainer try to sabotage my riding. She told others that she didn’t want me to beat her in competition. She was definitely not my cheerleader. After I found out, I was on the search for a new trainer.
Significant Other
As an adult, it is tough if your significant other does not understand your love for riding and horses. It can create big riffs in relationships. Some significant others may join in and pick up the love of riding too, and some may be standing by the ringside, and some may stay home with the children. All that matters is that they support you. They support your passion for riding. They encourage you to keep going when things get tough.
There are many people in the horse world that enjoy watching people fail. They enjoy blaming others. I never realized this and felt it more than when I was on my own. It took a toll on my confidence. When I moved away from everything I knew in my mid 20’s, it was a shock to my system. I had always had my mom and my horsey friends as cheerleaders. They helped push me along when things got tough. They kept me motivated. They told me things would be okay.
If you are feeling defeated in your riding, then rely on your support system. Give that support system a call. Cry to them and let them be there for you. Your cheerleaders will lift you up and ask, “When’s the next show?”