Is He The One For Me?

Many equestrians struggle with the decision of when to move on from a horse (meaning sell their horse). When you buy a horse, there is always an adjustment period. Most of the time people buy a horse after riding it once. The horse is in a new home, new people, new routine. Everything is new for that horse and that horse is new to you. Things rarely work out perfectly where you are able to bring the horse home and hop on it the next day. The problem is, how long before you know if that horse is actually the right horse for you? When is it time to cut your loss and sell that horse? I’ve seen many adult amateurs give up riding in order to keep maintaining the one horse that they have, but that they are afraid to ride. This may sound more like a teenager’s article on if you should stay with your boyfriend or not, but aren’t they pretty similar?

Do you dread riding? Does it seem more like a job than fun? We’ve all been there at least once. You are happy when your ride is over, but not because it was a good ride. You are literally just happy that the ride was over and you walked away fine. If every ride feels like this, then he is not the one for you. Move on!

Here are some of the common reasons people have for not selling their current horse, even though it isn’t working out.

I’ll Never Get My Money Back Out Of This Horse.

No, it’s a horse. It’s hard to get your money back out of a horse. It’s hard to make money from selling a horse. If you figure out what you have put into it with training, boarding, vet, farrier and whatever else, you usually don’t make money. You usually don’t even break even.

I Love My Horse And I’m Attached

If you love the horse, maybe he would be better off with another owner. Finding a home that is more suitable for your horse could be the most loving thing you could do for that horse and yourself.

What are you giving up by keeping this horse?

Do you love your horse enough to not stare at your friends enviously as they load their horses up and head out to a horse show? That could be you… but with a different horse. Sometimes hanging on to something that isn’t meant to be holds you back from other opportunities and situations.

What if there isn’t anything better?

Guess what? There probably is a better horse out there for you. Asking your trainer for help finding your next horse might better guide you to a good match. Yes, searching for a horse takes time. Yes, it is not always fun. But, if you aren’t having fun with the horse that you have now, what is the point?

I can’t afford a better horse.

Maybe right at the moment you can’t afford a better horse. If you sell your current horse (even at a loss), and you save board, vet, and farrier money, you should be able to afford a better horse. There are usually some options that can keep you in the saddle while you are in between horses such as: leasing, borrowing, or just riding school horses during lessons.

Riding And Bonding With My Horse Is A Journey

If you are one of these people that enjoy the journey and enjoy watching your horse grow into something marvelous, then selling your horse may not be the right option for you. If you have limited time to spend with your horse, it may be that you just need to hire a trainer to ride him. If you don’t mind missing out on shows or other fun things at the moment, then selling your horse might not be the right option. Being able to watch and help a horse bloom and grow into something is so much more rewarding than purchasing something that is already at that point. However, it takes time, energy, talent, knowledge, and a little bit of your soul to get there. What are you willing to give up to get to that point?

I Feel Your Pain

So many times, I have questioned myself with my current horse. I bought him sight unseen, off from videos and a vet check. I would never recommend this, but I thought it could be my “dream horse” and a “deal of a lifetime.” Now saying that, I have also had many project horses (in my younger years and before kids). I am pretty good at looking at videos, photos and such and making a decision. Once again, that was over a decade ago. I misjudged my riding ability and “mojo” after having a kid (almost a 3-year break).

My current horse is actually pretty lovely under saddle. That is also after a year of me getting back into the saddle. He has more solid training. He was a wonderful work ethic. He is a little bit hot (which I like). I really, really enjoy riding him. On the ground, that is another story. I don’t trust him to hold my toddler and lead him in and out of his stall. Which I am the only one taking care of the horses, so it can be problematic. He is terrible at loading and has never been to a horse show. Life has changed a lot since becoming a mother. I no longer have the time to invest in him like I did my project horses a decade ago. I don’t have time to load him up and take him on mini trips to other farms. So, I am also in the same boat of, “should he stay or should he go?”

Conclusion

What advice would you give to a friend that was having difficulties with a significant other? Pretend your horse is a significant other, what are you willing to deal with? Sometimes horses are who they are, just as people are who they are. Some people require significant amounts of therapy or whatever else to become their better selves. Do you want to be that “therapist” for your horse? Are you guys good partners?

Cheers to Happy Partnerships and Enjoyable Rides!

Pampered Ponies

5 Things Your Horse Doesn’t Need – But You’ll Want!

This post contains affiliate links, at no cost to you. For more information, please click here.

“A horse is like a grown woman’s Barbie.” ~ Anonymous. I cannot remember where I heard that from, but isn’t it fitting? So, maybe you never played with Barbies as a kid, but we all know Barbies have to have all the accessories. It is the same with horses. They get dressed up in ridiculous outfits. We make sure that our outfits match the saddle pads and maybe even leg wraps or boots (well, some people do). Here is a list of 5 things that your horse probably doesn’t need, but you will want!

Peppermint Bit Wipes

Raise your hand if you are guilty of having a dirty bit (me too). Raise your hand if you feel even slightly bad about putting a piece of metal in your horse’s mouth (me too). These wipes don’t solve those problems, but they definitely help! They’ll motivate you to keep those bits a little cleaner and maybe motivate your horse to want to take the bit more! Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/36uI0WY

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Marigold Coat Spray

This spray is supposed to condition and protect your horses coat from sun bleaching. I have purchased this spray many times, but it really isn’t for either of those reasons. This is the best smelling horse spray I have ever used. It is refreshing and has a slight perfume smell that is not too overbearing. If you want the best smelling pony in the barn, this is your spray! Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/3kmQXq8

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Mrs. Pasture’s Horse Cookies

Okay, this is something your horse will actually want. Who doesn’t enjoy pampering your horse with some special treats? I have yet to meet a horse that doesn’t like Mrs. Pasture’s Horse Cookies. Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/2IxcZcs

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Massage Grooming Mitt

This two-in-one massage mitt is great for shedding season and before you ride. There are “magnetic therapy balls” in the mitt. I don’t know about magnetic therapy, but it does provide a good massage for your horse before you ride. These work especially great for horses that have a lot of tension in their necks, back and topline. Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/3lvdpyu

Rubber Face Curry

Sometimes our regular curries are just too rough for our horse’s face, especially if you have a sensitive horse. These little curries have tiny bristles to help gently pull off gunk from around the ears, eyes, and boney parts of the face. Your horse will thank you! Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/2JUYBvd

Become More Positive - Gratitude And Horses

This post contains affiliate links, at no cost to you. For more information, please click here.

September 21st is World Gratitude Day. 2020 has sent us through a whirl wind (and doesn’t seem to be slowing down), and it can seem hard to feel gratitude right now. Many of us have had canceled shows, trips, riding, training, and lessons due to COVID. At the beginning of the virus, some of us had to deal with boarding barns closing down to boarders. That meant no riding, no training, and no horses. I know many people that struggled not being able to see their horse for a prolonged period of time. Maybe the events of 2020 have not impacted you that much, but other factors in life have. Life as an adult can be tough to say the least. However, if we take a little bit of time and mental effort, I’m sure there are some things we all can show gratitude towards.

What is Gratitude?

Being grateful, thankful, or showing appreciation is gratitude. The most important word is appreciation. Appreciation means that you recognize or enjoy something good. Take a moment and think of one thing that is good with your riding, horse, or horsey friends. Gratitude is not just thinking or being thankful for something. Gratitude is also showing appreciation.

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." William Arthur Ward

Is there someone that has gone the extra mile for you or your horse? Does your horse get excellent care at your boarding facility? Does your husband wake up at 6:30 on his day off and come down to the barn to clean stalls? Tell that person how grateful you are. Show them that you are thankful for them. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be as easy as saying, “thank you for …” Not into using words? How about buying someone a cup of coffee, doughnut, cookie or something else small? A small gift can really make a person feel appreciated.

Sometimes we don’t always feel like the care of our horses is the greatest at our boarding facility. People can get under our skin and fall short of our expectations. Try to think of one small thing that someone has done correctly. Find a small way to show that person you appreciate them.

"The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement." Charles Schwab

 When I was an elementary teacher, we called this positive reinforcement. In some cases, you could take a student that acted out and get them to change their behaviors. Teachers would focus on one small thing that the student did right and show gratitude for it. The goal was to build upon the positive and sometimes it worked. Now, think of something positive that you can show gratitude towards with those people that fall short or tend to be difficult. Caring for horses can be an exhausting feat. If the caretakers are consistently getting beat down, they will give up. Show a little bit of appreciation for something they did correctly (no matter how small). For example, bring them a cup of coffee on a cold day with a note: “Thank you for feeding my horse every day.” Although that is service you pay for anyway, it is still a nice gesture and will make you feel good too. If you are looking to purchase a small gift of gratitude for someone, here are some horsey gifts that won’t break the bank. 

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Small Gifts of Gratitude:

Book - “The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse",” is a quick read. It has wonderful life lessons. I’ve bought this book several times for friends, and I just recently purchased it for my coffee table. https://amzn.to/3iA1COh

Scarf -https://amzn.to/3iq9oKu

Mug 1 - https://amzn.to/3iq9oKu

Mug 2 - https://amzn.to/2DRVmlN

Socks - https://amzn.to/35rwGvN

Chocolate Gift Box - https://amzn.to/3mclpoR

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Still Having Trouble Feeling or Showing Gratitude?

Maybe your riding isn’t going well, or your horse is lame right now, or who knows what! But, these 1000+ lbs. beasts allow us to ride them. How crazy is that? Life can be messy and complicated, but if you are reading this, you probably ride or own a horse. Here is the reality: You are lucky. The fact that we are able to afford to be around horses is amazing. Most of us have our basic needs met. We have food, shelter, and clean water. We are able to focus on things like: Is my horse going to be cold without his blanket tonight? I wonder what kind of supplement would be best for my horse? There are many people in the world that don’t even live as well as our horses.

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault

 Try to think about your “little things.” Is it the cool autumn breeze blowing on your face as you sit atop your horse? Is it watching the sunset while you graze your horse after giving him a bath? If you take the time, you may be surprised to find how many things you can be grateful for and don’t forget to show that gratitude.

I’d love to hear what you are grateful for or how you are going to show your gratitude.

Finding The Right Boarding Facility

Finding the right boarding facility is like shopping for shoes.

Trying to find a place to board your horse is like trying to find a pair of shoes that fits just right. You have to go see the facility, just like you need to try the shoe on. You can order the shoes online in your size, but if you haven’t tried them on, you risk them not fitting quite right. No matter what the size on the box says, different brands and styles can vary widely. The same goes for a boarding facility. What the boarding facility has and/or advertises may look great on their website, but spending some time at a potential facility will allow you to see things that you might have otherwise overlooked like the types of riders, arena quality, feeding routines, temperaments of horses, general atmosphere, etc. Just like no one wants to walk around in shoes that rub your heels raw, no one wants to board at a facility that causes constant frustration. Invest some time upfront and consider some of these things before making the leap to a new boarding facility to prevent a bad fit.

Purpose

Would you buy a pair of flip flops to go out and run a marathon? Of course not! Shoes are made for different purposes like for working out, style, leisure... most boarding facilities are no different. Different boarding facilities can serve different purposes. What may seem like a wonderful place for someone that is a trail rider may terribly lack the needs for someone that is a reiner or jumper.  What is your purpose for riding? Does the boarding facility fit that purpose? Maybe the facility offers excellent care and looks beautiful, but will it meet your riding needs? Can you imagine a dressage horse being ridden while other horses are practicing barrels? I’m sure it does happen, but I know a lot of dressage horses and riders that would lose their minds.

Type of Care

If the shoe doesn’t fit … don’t force it! I have boarded in many states and at many different types of facilities: dressage, jumpers, Morgans, Tennessee Walkers, pleasure … you name it. They all offered different types of care. I am a regimented type of person. I like consistency and so have most of my horses. Some of the facilities fed grain once a day, some fed three times a day. Some of the places left horses turned out (weather permitting) for days, even if they were stall boarded. Other facilities only turned horses out for a few hours a day. If you have a horse that does best with a lot of turnout time, then keeping that horse at a boarding facility that has limited turnout is not going to work. If you have a horse that gets stressed if he is outside for too long, then a 24-hour turnout might not work. You know that saying, “Happy wife, happy life?” Well, I think “Happy horse, happy owner” is also a good saying. If a boarding facility cannot accommodate your horse (and sometimes they shouldn’t) you need to find a place that has the type of care that works for the horse. There is no reason to try to fit a square peg in a round hole.

Atmosphere

Are you going to go to a shoe store that sells Jimmy Choo, Gucci, or Louis Vuitton and shop for a nice pair of running shoes? Of course not! If you have a horse that is high strung, it needs to be in a facility that has experience with higher energy horses. If you are at a boarding facility where all of the horses are really chill and easy going, but you have an OTTB (off the track thoroughbred) that is higher strung, it can be easy to stand out. You don’t want your horse getting labeled as “crazy.” It can ruin your confidence if you consistently hear about how hyper your horse is acting. When I taught elementary school, we were told that you do not treat kids as if they are “bad.” Children will live up to those expectations. I truly feel it is the same with horses. If they are treated as if they are “crazy,” they will live up to those expectations. Things that those hotter horses do may be misread, especially by people that don’t understand hot horses.

Conclusion

Finding the right boarding facility for you and your horse can be tricky, but extremely important. Make sure you fully understand your expectations and whether a potential boarding facility is capable of meeting those needs before you commit. Investing some additional time prior to moving to a new boarding facility to get a feel for their purpose, turnout and feeding routines, and atmosphere will save you from frustrations down the road. Changing facilities too often can cause stress on both you and your horse and dramatically delay you from reaching your riding goals.

Happy Horse House Hunting!