Is He The One For Me?

Many equestrians struggle with the decision of when to move on from a horse (meaning sell their horse). When you buy a horse, there is always an adjustment period. Most of the time people buy a horse after riding it once. The horse is in a new home, new people, new routine. Everything is new for that horse and that horse is new to you. Things rarely work out perfectly where you are able to bring the horse home and hop on it the next day. The problem is, how long before you know if that horse is actually the right horse for you? When is it time to cut your loss and sell that horse? I’ve seen many adult amateurs give up riding in order to keep maintaining the one horse that they have, but that they are afraid to ride. This may sound more like a teenager’s article on if you should stay with your boyfriend or not, but aren’t they pretty similar?

Do you dread riding? Does it seem more like a job than fun? We’ve all been there at least once. You are happy when your ride is over, but not because it was a good ride. You are literally just happy that the ride was over and you walked away fine. If every ride feels like this, then he is not the one for you. Move on!

Here are some of the common reasons people have for not selling their current horse, even though it isn’t working out.

I’ll Never Get My Money Back Out Of This Horse.

No, it’s a horse. It’s hard to get your money back out of a horse. It’s hard to make money from selling a horse. If you figure out what you have put into it with training, boarding, vet, farrier and whatever else, you usually don’t make money. You usually don’t even break even.

I Love My Horse And I’m Attached

If you love the horse, maybe he would be better off with another owner. Finding a home that is more suitable for your horse could be the most loving thing you could do for that horse and yourself.

What are you giving up by keeping this horse?

Do you love your horse enough to not stare at your friends enviously as they load their horses up and head out to a horse show? That could be you… but with a different horse. Sometimes hanging on to something that isn’t meant to be holds you back from other opportunities and situations.

What if there isn’t anything better?

Guess what? There probably is a better horse out there for you. Asking your trainer for help finding your next horse might better guide you to a good match. Yes, searching for a horse takes time. Yes, it is not always fun. But, if you aren’t having fun with the horse that you have now, what is the point?

I can’t afford a better horse.

Maybe right at the moment you can’t afford a better horse. If you sell your current horse (even at a loss), and you save board, vet, and farrier money, you should be able to afford a better horse. There are usually some options that can keep you in the saddle while you are in between horses such as: leasing, borrowing, or just riding school horses during lessons.

Riding And Bonding With My Horse Is A Journey

If you are one of these people that enjoy the journey and enjoy watching your horse grow into something marvelous, then selling your horse may not be the right option for you. If you have limited time to spend with your horse, it may be that you just need to hire a trainer to ride him. If you don’t mind missing out on shows or other fun things at the moment, then selling your horse might not be the right option. Being able to watch and help a horse bloom and grow into something is so much more rewarding than purchasing something that is already at that point. However, it takes time, energy, talent, knowledge, and a little bit of your soul to get there. What are you willing to give up to get to that point?

I Feel Your Pain

So many times, I have questioned myself with my current horse. I bought him sight unseen, off from videos and a vet check. I would never recommend this, but I thought it could be my “dream horse” and a “deal of a lifetime.” Now saying that, I have also had many project horses (in my younger years and before kids). I am pretty good at looking at videos, photos and such and making a decision. Once again, that was over a decade ago. I misjudged my riding ability and “mojo” after having a kid (almost a 3-year break).

My current horse is actually pretty lovely under saddle. That is also after a year of me getting back into the saddle. He has more solid training. He was a wonderful work ethic. He is a little bit hot (which I like). I really, really enjoy riding him. On the ground, that is another story. I don’t trust him to hold my toddler and lead him in and out of his stall. Which I am the only one taking care of the horses, so it can be problematic. He is terrible at loading and has never been to a horse show. Life has changed a lot since becoming a mother. I no longer have the time to invest in him like I did my project horses a decade ago. I don’t have time to load him up and take him on mini trips to other farms. So, I am also in the same boat of, “should he stay or should he go?”

Conclusion

What advice would you give to a friend that was having difficulties with a significant other? Pretend your horse is a significant other, what are you willing to deal with? Sometimes horses are who they are, just as people are who they are. Some people require significant amounts of therapy or whatever else to become their better selves. Do you want to be that “therapist” for your horse? Are you guys good partners?

Cheers to Happy Partnerships and Enjoyable Rides!